The Day Before

I always love the Sunday before Christmas.

There is always beautiful musical numbers and the Spirit is always strong as we celebrate the birth of the Savior.  This year was different.  Dad was not responsive.  Of course my mortal self was hopeful that the Morphine Dad was on was giving him time for his body to heal but my spirit knew other wise.  Right before church started Becky had facetimed us so we could hear their girls play for Papa Tom and then they said they would be reading their entries in the Gratbook to him.   Not being there was a little more than my heart could handle.  I went back into sacrament meeting and tried my best to hold it together.  I didn't do a very good job.  My Dad was dying and I was in Texas far away from all those I love who could maybe be of comfort.  My girls played in church, "What Child is This?"  It was beautiful and I didn't have a prayer at that point to hold back the tears.  The tears just flowed.  When Madi came and sat back down after playing she could feel my sadness and put her arm around me and we sat and cried together.  We both knew that Heaven was close.  After church everyone kept coming up to us to tell Madi what a great job she did on her cello.  And the two of us were a hot mess!  I'm sure it made all of them so uncomfortable when they would ask if we were ok I would just be blunt and say, "No we are not Ok, my Dad is dying."  Now it's a little funny to me, but at the time I had no energy to try to make anyone feel more comfortable.  As we came home the feeling never really left.  My home was so happy and wonderful with Haylee and Jesse here and knowing our beautiful grand baby was here safe and sound.  So many blessings mixed with sadness, I've never felt anything like it.  I would get sweet picture updates from my siblings.  I didn't know how long my Dad had, but Heaven was definitely near. 

Being at church and feeling the spirit was just what my soul needed.  The Savior's love for us is healing balm to our tears.

Haylee made cookies to decorate.  

They were even plant based so I was so proud!

This view of the tree is what I needed, so I sat in the living room most of the day.

Sweet Korbin, just wanted to be next to Papa Tom.

Rick was a rock! He was what we all needed him to be.  He showed up after Dad fell on Thursday and never left.  Rick would tell you losing his job in September turned into a blessing because it gave him time he wouldn't otherwise had to spend time caring for Dad.

My sweet Brother in law Scott reading his gratbook entry.  He said it is the hardest thing he ever did.  He is such a good man and truly loves my Dad.  He served him just like he was his own son.   My Dad loves all of his son in laws so much.

Aunt Judy and Uncle Alex came, Mom said it really was the best day.

Aunt Jeri was another sweet surprise.

So grateful for my Mom's sisters.

They are such a source of support for my sweet mom.

Rob also felt Heaven close and knew he needed a little church.

This didn't help my crying issue whatsoever.

My sweet sister Kim, it warmed my heart that my siblings are there with him.  I know my Dad loved the way his children rallied to help and serve him.  

I truly believe the way that it brought my siblings together was the MIRACLE.   I always wanted the miracle to be that we had more time with Dad but the miracle God had in mind was just as sweet.